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I am learning stillness
Sitting on the living room floor
After a snow storm
It feels like I'm in a clearing of a deserted wood
Which is nice
But it's not the stillness I'm talking about
I'm talking about loneliness
I'm thinking of wandering up and down St. Mark's
Buying cheese danishes from the Jewish bakery
Cheese danishes that I don't end up eating
Because I didn't want them
I don't know what I want
Kathleen Graber in book four tells me to wait
Like she knows
When she looks at me
Lying in my bed
The world flashing
Want need now
Every minute of every day
She shakes her head
Didn't she know the sea would always bring more?
*Photo: The Boy's back yard.
for Harryette Mullens
I just can't seem to make my leg straight. I should try harder to tighten my standing leg, to make it a strong foundation. I ought to be more flexible. He wishes I wasn't so needy. He never comes over to adjust me. He always talks about his sister during class. Sometimes he annoys the hell out of me. Once in a while what he says is an epiphany. However it is obvious that he is trying to distract us. His overall tendency has been to tell us not to drink water. The consequences of which have been me leaving to room to cry by the water cooler. He doesn't appear to understand that if we don't hydrate we will pass out. If only he would make an effort to remember what it was like at the beginning. But we know how difficult it is for him to connect with strangers. Many of us remain unaware of our potential. Some who should know better simply refuse to touch the floor with their palms. Of course, their perspective has been limited by their pain. On the other hand, they obviously feel entitled to be here. We know that this has had an enormous impact on our stress levels. Nevertheless their behavior strikes me as self-involved. Our interactions unfortunately have been drenched in sweat.
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